IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #world
The appearance of advanced science and technology in 21st century triggers many divergent notions of how people interact with each others. From my point of view, humans are considerably connecting others in terms of society;
however
, their private life is more independent. On the one hand, the modern world forces people to cooperate in their work since there are a large number of harsh tasks which require many labourers in other fields. Skyscrapers,
for instance
, are the combination of experts
such
 as architects along with engineers.
Therefore
, if there is the absence of any one, these structures could not be completed.
Besides
, people obtain a trend of specialization, which means they concentrate on a sole field.
Accordingly
, even though they acquire an insight knowledge about their major, those suffers the dearth of other necessary skills. To illustrate
this
 case, a recent research has shown that most doctors when interviewed could not teach biology and math for their children;
as a result
 they must have tutors don that.
On the other hand
, citizens attain liberty as respect to individual life.
Firstly
, people are eligible to make their own decision as well as pursuing their passions which used to be disregarded in the past. Women in the modern world,
for example
, are unnecessary to sacrifice their career to become housekeepers, which is supported by the fact that many of them are successful entrepreneurs.
In addition
, thanks to an appreciable increase in private income, a radical number of people tend to live apart from their parents soon. Compared to the past, when the youngsters are highly depended on grants from their family, those in the presence could easily subsist by themselves.
Subsequently
 weighing all the aforementioned, I suppose that people in
this
 era have more interactive jobs but gain more independent life

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: