IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

#artists #salaries #government #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the proliferation of technology, the heritage of a country can only be preserved with its
art
Use synonyms
 and culture. Though many people have lost interest and love in the
art
Use synonyms
, there is a plethora of artists who have dedicated their lives to protect the legacy. Some people believe that artists do not earn enough and should receive stipends from the
government but
Accept comma addition
government, but
 I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as they already receive monetary funds from various non-profit organisations. Creative minds, nowadays, receive a lot of help from the companies which believe in preserving heritage and culture. These volunteers provide support to the artists who are gifted with the talent of craft. They even provide them with career opportunities and publicise their work globally to get them recognized.
Such
Linking Words
 organisations like the Artist Supporters in India offer financial help to
such
Linking Words
 people to continue their pursuit of
art
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the state need not provide extra help to them. The government,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, can use
this
Linking Words
 money to spend on the health and welfare of the society. There are other primary concerns which hold more value for a nation which the officials need to cope with, including the food, healthcare, education and policing. The creations and marvels can attract a variety of tourists, but, the focus of a nation should be to provide the basic amenities to its citizens including food, employment and shelter. To conclude, there is no need for the government to support the artists financially any longer because there are many
art
Use synonyms
 loving organisations which support them.
Instead
Linking Words
, these funds could be utilised to build infrastructure and upgrade the living standards of the nation.
Submitted by harshitsalwan12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: