A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #population #mixture #nationalities

Some argue that

diversity

makes a

country

more interesting and develop more rapidly. In my opinion, I totally agree with

this

statement. One reason is that a

culture

influenced by other types may develop into a new mixed one. Before the mixture, the local

culture

seems to be tedious. Yet the cultural

diversity

is like a chemical reaction. Reacting with other cultures, the original one re-thrives and grows.

As a result

, an old-fashioned

culture

may appeal more people who have

interest

Suggestion

an interest

in the appreciation of art, music and history.

For example

, hip-hop used to be

Suggestion

underground music in coastal cities in America, and popular among a small

groups

Suggestion

group

. With more and more foreigners engaging, hip-hop

culture

is well known in the globe. Another reason is that

diversity

workforce

Suggestion

the workforce

may dramatically increase a

country

’s productivity. When a

country

pursues

diversity

this

country

may provide a more inclusive environment and attract top talents from overseas.

Such

features are both the keys of innovation, which leads to industrial growth. With

accumulation

Suggestion

the accumulation

of innovative products and services, more and more hands are free from traditional manufacture and high-tech machines are replacing the out-of-date ones. In

this

way, a

country

could achieve a higher GPD. It is

therefore

that I completely agree with the argument that

diversity

brings a

country

more fun and development opportunities.

This

is mainly because diverse population adds a novel power into the local

culture

and it

also

benefits the increase in productivity through innovation.

Submitted by lishushu.2580 on Thu Apr 09 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

246 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth.

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or waste of time?

Computer and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligance enhance the learing experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be this case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed ?