Successful sports professions can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professions #money #people

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It is a widely acknowledged fact that

sport

Use synonyms

is a multimillion dollar industry of the world. As we know, professional

athlets

a person trained to compete in sports

athletes

usually receive huger salaries than those of other important professions

such

Linking Words

as doctors, lawyers, teachers or social workers.

Such

Linking Words

an issue has sparked some controversies amongst the public about whether

such

Linking Words

high salaries are

jutified

having words so spaced that lines have straight even margins

justified

or not Both perspectives will be much discussed in

this

Linking Words

essay. On the one hand, there are some reasons why professional sportsmen usually deserve high earnings.

Firstly

Linking Words

sport

Use synonyms

is often regarded as a professional career

thus

Linking Words

not only must athletes undergo (=suffer) rigorous (nghiêm khắc = hard, severe) training but

also

Linking Words

cope with

tremendous pressure

Suggestion

the tremendous pressure

in each competition.

Secondly

Linking Words

, due to the fact that they

inevtably

in such a manner as could not be otherwise

inevitably

get injured during training sessions, leading to their inability to compete with their rivals, they can easily suffer from depression or other mental issues. Another argument in

favor

promote over another

favour

of high salary for

sport

Use synonyms

players put forward is that their achievements bring

honors

Suggestion

honour

honours

honest

and public recognitions not only for themselves but

also

Linking Words

for their team.

As a result

Linking Words

, some people believe that it is completely

jutified

having words so spaced that lines have straight even margins

justified

to pay

sports professions

Accept comma addition

sports, professions

higher salaries than other careers.

On the other hand

Linking Words

such financial privilege

Suggestion

such financial privileges

granted for top – notch (xuất sắc)

sport

Use synonyms

players can somewhat be unjustified since numerous professions are

also

Linking Words

making

significant contribution

Suggestion

a significant contribution

to social development, but have not yet received the deserved income. There are occupations

such

Linking Words

as doctors whose responsibility is to save people’s lives; lawyers, who help ensure the implementation (sự

thi

definite article

the

hành = operation, practice) of justice or scientists that discover new inventions. Each career brings considerable benefits to human’s well being, and

hence

Linking Words

the world can be more developed and civilized.

Moreover

Linking Words

, science

programs both

Accept comma addition

programs, both

reduce stress after a long working day and extend people’s knowledge about the world. In conclusion, we

can not

cannot

deny that both sides are well – grounded.

However

Linking Words

, I side with the fair wage for

professions

a person engaged in one of the learned professions

professionals

in all fields and it is more advisable to consider the contributions of each occupation for determining the appropriate salary so as to achieve completely social

jutice

the quality of being just or fair

justice

Submitted by yenngahp99 on Thu Apr 09 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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Successful sports professions can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some parents prefer to have their children receive home tuition, an alternative that traditional education teachers have always questioned. What are reasons to support home tuition?

More and more people today are buying and driving cars which has a positive impact for the economy but can hurt the environment. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

There is a good deal of evidence that increasing car use is contributing to global warming and having other undesirable effects on people’s health and well-being. What can be done to discourage people from using their cars

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?