IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

'Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people's lives and should receive more funding.' To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Media has become an essential source of information in
this
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 globalized era. It's believed that
news
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 channels should focus more on local
news
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 rather than continuous broadcasting of international
affairs
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 since the local population feels more resonated with the former.
However
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, from my perspective, I believe that--
due to
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 globalization--knowledge of foreign
affairs
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 is as necessary as one's own regional
affairs
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;
hence
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, more and more should be televised on
news
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 channels. To commence with, a comprehensive knowledge of foreign
affairs
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 is essential to predict upcoming changes or challenges. Because of globalization, issues of a nation are no longer confined to its boundaries only but can have extended effects on its neighbours as well.
For example
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, the presidential elections in America are something that every other state awaits, since it will be determining what kind of relations America will have with its immediate allies or other eastern nations.
Hence
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, if individuals are aware of the bigger forces at play, they can already expect how changes in another country can affect them on their own.
Moreover
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, broadcasts of international
affairs
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 can help the audience to broaden their horizons of knowledge and be better prepared with appropriate solutions to expected issues.
For instance
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, a person who regularly follows global
news
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 already knows the ongoing market trends and can easily understand the factors affecting those statistics.
This
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 understanding can guide them to be financially prepared for the upcoming wave of inflation or economic boom.
This
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 is how global information can expand
peoples
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people's
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 areas of thinking and ultimately guide them towards readiness.
To conclude
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, awareness of foreign issues can not only position folks for the forthcoming shifts in global power play but
also
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 help in expanding their conventional domains of thinking.
Therefore
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, global
affairs
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 should be the priority of media channels and adequate funding should be allocated for that.

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Task Response
Your essay presents a clear argument favoring the importance of international news, which aligns well with the task. However, it may benefit from a brief acknowledgment of the importance of local news to provide a more balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
The organization of your essay is generally effective, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Consider using clearer topic sentences in each paragraph to enhance the logical flow of your ideas.
Task Response
Your use of examples is relevant and enhances your argument. However, incorporating a specific local news example to contrast with your points about international news could strengthen your argument further.
Task Achievement
You articulate the importance of global awareness and its implications effectively, showcasing a solid understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • immediacy
  • relevance
  • community cohesion
  • investigative journalism
  • accountability
  • mismanagement
  • economic argument
  • globalization
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • well-rounded global perspective
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