Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#governments #care #support #people #responsibility #person #retirement

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Some people believe that governments have no duty to help senior citizens because

that is

their own responsibility. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the idea that taking care of the elderly is not the affair of state.

Firstly

, pensioner does not have the ability to live by themselves. Because of the old age, they are vulnerable,

thus

, a number of diseases are inevitable.

For example

, in England, nearly a quarter of the quantity of the elderly suffer from more than 2 aging-associated diseases

such

as cancer, diabetes, or Alzheimer's disease.

Consequently

, the senior citizens need not only the money, but

also

the state's help to deal with these chronic conditions.

Secondly

, a large figure of elderly people does not have the opportunities to support for their retirement. Due to the poor circumstance in the past, incalculable sum of people could not access to the standard living condition, education when they were adolescents.

Hence

, being an adult with no knowledge was extremely difficult for them to acquire for a job.

As a result

, an enormous total of old people became a burden or homeless and money was a luxurious thing that they cannot achieve.

Moreover

, being street people means they are easily infected with many diseases and they do not have enough budget afford to cure these sort of conditions. In conclusion, a lot of elderly people are not able to take care of themselves,

therefore

, I believe that the state should support them with the medical care and financial support.

Thu Apr 09 2020

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

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for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
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take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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