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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000.

The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000.
#travellers #three #airports #york #city
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The bar chart shows
Use synonyms
passengers
Correct article usage
the passengers
show examples
number
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 who used three airports( JohnF.
Kennedy
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, LaGuardia, and Newark)
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 New York City in the period of 5
years
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 from 1995 to 2000. In general, there was a fluctuant trend in the
number
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 of
passengers
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 who travelled via John F.
Kennedy
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 airport,
while
Linking Words
 the other two airports saw an upward trend. In 1995, the
number
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 of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 at Newark was 15
million
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, which was 20
million
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 lower than that of
passengers
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used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 LaGuardia. Both figures continue to increase gradually, but in 1998
passengers
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 at Newark remained stable for the
last
Linking Words
 three
years
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, with 41
million
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. As can be seen from the chart, more
passengers
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 used LaGuardia airport in the year 2000 compared with other airports. It held the first rank in 2000, well under 70
million
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. By 1995, the amounts of travellers
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 John F.
Kennedy
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 airport received 27
million
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. During the
next
Linking Words
 2
years
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,
passengers
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 at John F.
Kennedy
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 are by far
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
number
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 of all
years
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, it took a lead with 48
million
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travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
passengers
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 experienced a considerable drop, until 2000, it regained pace and increased,
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 42
million
Use synonyms
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
.
Submitted by vituongvyy on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words passengers, number, kennedy, years, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • significant increase
  • highest number
  • steady increase
  • largest growth
  • dramatic
  • slowest growth
  • slight decrease
  • gradual increase
  • period
  • travelers
  • major airports
  • followed by
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