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Writing Samples /
Band 7

You are going to spend your vacation in a city in a foreign country. You have never been there before. Your cousin has a friend who lives there. Write a letter to your cousin's friend. In your letter, introduce yourself say why you are making this trip ask some questions about the city (e.g. places to see, things to do, things to bring) Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ..................,

#vacation #city #country #cousin #friend #lives #trip #questions #e #g #places #addresses
Dear Jay, I am mailing to get some information about the
city
 where you currently live. Well, let me introduce myself
first,
I am Ankit Patel, a brother of Poojan who gave me your contact details when I asserted to him my vacation plan to your
city
 and at that time he realized that you are in the same
city
 where I am planning to have my vacation, immediately he gave me your mail address. I have just finished my college degree and want to explore and spend some time in foreign and that's why I selected New York
City
 where I will have a chance to learn about different cultures and the corporate world. Mostly, I prefer to live within my own company and not go outdoors unnecessarily and because of my introverted nature, I have not explored the outdoor life much and it is the main reason, why I want to spend my day off in New York. Please, let me know about the best places to visit and to do adventure things where I can boost my confidence. I will wait for your reply and
then
 make a plan
accordingly
. Your Faithfully, Ankit
Submitted by ap064911 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your letter could be improved by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. For example, separate the introduction, reasons for travel, and questions into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to introduce your name in the first sentence to make your introduction clear and concise.
task achievement
You used a suitable and polite tone throughout the letter, which is appropriate for a formal request.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are well-executed, which lends to a more polished letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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