IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

In many nations. There is an increase in
people
Use synonyms
 who hire a personal
fitness
Use synonyms
 coach,
instead
Linking Words
 of playing sports or doing exercise classes. The major reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 are aware that they need special care, and
this
Linking Words
 should be considered a positive development because it provides many job opportunities.
People
Use synonyms
 are relising that specialist coaches are important in today's life because they have a solid background on
fitness
Use synonyms
 and because hiring one would save them a lot of time and effort, we notice that many individuals who decided to exercise by themselves ended up with serious injuries and health conditions, a personal trainer would guide you during your journey to your goal or your dream's body,
for example
Linking Words
, in the UK
people
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 who hired a personal trainer reached ther goal 10 times faster compared to
people
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 who rely on themselves.
This
Linking Words
 development should always considered positive because many jobs will be offered in the market, and everyone is going to benefit from it, coaches will have more resources of earning money, and
people
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 who are intrested in improving their
fitness
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 will have specialist to make their journies easier and more effictive
due to
Linking Words
 the experience they have,
for instance
Linking Words
, after increasing the number of trainers in the US the
fitness
Use synonyms
 rate in the gyms increased 30% compared to the
last
Linking Words
 decade. In conclusion, the core reason for
this
Linking Words
 development is the awareness that individuals have of the importance of a specialist's guide, and it's beneficial for all sides.

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planning
Plan your answer with three clear parts: intro, body and conclusion. State your view in the first line and keep one idea per paragraph.
grammar
Use short, simple sentences. Break long ideas into two or three small sentences to avoid mistakes.
content
Be clear on how hiring a trainer helps life and work. Use facts or real examples, not guess work.
editing
Check spell and word use. Fix easy errors like relising, intrested, effictive.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas fit: also, for example, in addition, however.
content
The essay states a view that hiring a trainer is good.
evidence
Some examples are shown with UK and US to back points.
structure
There is a basic plan with intro and a final paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized workout plans
  • tailored
  • efficient
  • awareness
  • physical health
  • motivation
  • guidance
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • exclusivity
  • status symbol
  • inaccessible
  • community engagement
  • social interaction
  • health outcomes
  • personal achievement
  • health-conscious
What to do next:
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