IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

All over the world people spend more time on sports and exercises these days. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages? Give your opinion with supporting examples from your own experience.

#world #people #time #sports #exercises #development
Nowadays, plenty of
time
 is spent on exercising and doing sports by humans across the world. In my opinion, putting more effort in physical activities has many advantages.
However
, there are some negative impacts
as a result
 of
this
 trend.
First
 of all, boosting the immune system is a significant advantage due to exercising.
This
 means that their body creates a barrier for viruses and bacteria, making them healthier compared to individuals who do not involve themselves in any kind of sport.
Secondly
, exercising regularly not only keeps the body in shape, but
also
 brings more attracted towards the people. It is clearly known that men or women carrying toned muscles, are more noticeable during summer
time
.
For example
, a close friend of mine is a personal trainer and is known to make a lot of new friends, when he goes to the beach.
Thirdly
, daily exercises help people feel better mentally and relieved from stresses.
This
 may lead to building more self confidence and developing better attitude.
On the other hand
, exercising and doing sports surely have some serious drawbacks as well. One of the major concerns is that, athletes or even beginners can get severe injuries during
this
 period.
For instance
, the German player David Bust broke his leg during a match, which resulted in a career-ending injury and forcing him to leave football forever. The
second
 disadvantage is that, spending abundant
time
 on sports or different activities may lead to neglecting other duties. Children who exercise a lot throughout the day seem to not care about their homework. In conclusion, there are more positives in spending
time
 for exercising, as it plays a huge role in keeping the body fit and not being exposed to different illnesses.
Moreover
, it helps the people boost their self-esteem and relieve the stresses of the day.
However
, there is a high possibility of conceding long-
time
 injuries while exercising. Added to that, dedicating the whole
time
 to sports, leads in not completing other daily tasks.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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