Nowadays, parents are allowing their children to use tablets and smartphones to enhance learning. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Currently, numerous families are allowing their sons to use high-tech devices
such
as tablets and smartphones to improve their educational skills. In
this
essay's opinion,it is more beneficial to use those smart technologies than the drawbacks of them. It is vital to understand that,many users of smartphones spend their time in front of screens for being online ,inevitably ,there is an effect on eye hygiene for these students based on reports from scientists,
for example
, there are many research projects that have proposed the light which is reflected from screens is not healthy for human eyes and your vision is going to be diminished gradually .
In addition
, a long time bounding with smartphones and tech devices can push solidarity to be sociable like spending time with friends and family has been limited regarding
this
attachment ,
as a result
, behavioural patterns are formed based on virtual reality , not on the structure of life.
On the other hand
, it is vital to understand that more technology means more opportunities to research and learn more about study skills. To explain, nowadays most of the knowledge or information has appeared on the internet so it is more convenient for users to access and it helps students easily search
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
answers in a shorter moment.
In addition
, permission to use
such
devices from an early age would enhance children’s academic growth
although
it boosts their thoughts to a great extent
due to
which they would lack focus in their studies thereby contributing to poor academic performance. In conclusion,
although
there are plenty of negative effects of
this
statement,
this
writer totally argues that the disadvantages are outweighed by the advantages because of the convenience of high technology.
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coherence cohesion
Although the introduction and conclusion are present and clear, ensuring smoother transitions between ideas will improve logical structure and coherence. Try to connect the ideas between paragraphs more seamlessly. Additionally, make sure all arguments are backed by specific examples and evidence, which are currently lacking in some parts.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported with clear examples. This essay touches on key points but lacks detailed supporting examples in some areas. Additionally, avoid repetitive aspects and focus more on precise, varied vocabulary to make the essay more engaging and insightful.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic, stating that the advantages of using smart technology outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and contribute to a solid overall framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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