The number of obese children is growing over the past years. Some say that parents should be punished for letting their child becoming fat. Discuss and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The number of obese children in the world is growing continuously over the past years. Some say that parents should be penalized, because they allow them to become overweight. I disagree with
this
notion for the reason that parents are not always on the side of their children to guide them on the right foods to eat and
such
condition is hereditary in nature.
Although
children have been taught by their parents to eat the right foods, they still consume unhealthy foods, especially when they are outside home, wherein their parents are not there to restrict them. They consume processed food from convenience stores that contains high sugar and calorie. They
also
love to eat fast foods from restaurants like Mc Donalds, KFC and Burger King that are high in cholesterol.
Furthermore
, when they are with their peers, they will
also
take unhealthy foods being eaten by others.
For instance
, my niece often has candies with her and when I asked her why she is eating candy, she is always saying because her friends eat too. Situations like these are beyond the control of the parents.
Moreover
, recent scientific study shows that obesity can be inherited. If one’s parent or relatives are obese there is a chance he will be obese because characteristics are passed in the blood.
For example
, the mother of my cousin is obese and her son and daughter are
also
obese. They tried to reduce the weight of their children by giving proper nutrition but still they are overweight. In conclusion, parents should not be sanctioned of their child’s obesity because
this
is hereditary in nature and they are not always with their children to guide them in selecting the foods that they eat.
Submitted by noel_baltazar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: