Some people think parents should control the behaviour of children from a very young age but others think we should give them more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Controlling the
behaviour
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of
children
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should be a concern for every parent's responsibility,
while
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others
said
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say
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that they could behave
by
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in
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their own way.
However
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, both very topical debates will be discussed deeply before a rational conclusion. The proponent of educating the character
in
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at
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a young age for
children
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is extremely important for their future. First and foremost, they
do
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are
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not aware
anything
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of anything
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else around them
in
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at
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their
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an
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early age. It is highlighted that they need intense
guide
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guidance
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of
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from
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the
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their
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parents
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to teach them
on
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apply
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how to behave.
For instance
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, if they make some mistakes
to
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for
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another, they have to apologize and admit it.
Furthermore
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,
the
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apply
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youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
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also
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prefer to do funny
thing
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things
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instead
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of a serious matter,
then
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they
could not
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cannot
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differ
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differentiate
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between good and bad
behaviour
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. It can be seen that they like to do what they like without knowing the effects.
Therefore
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, giving education on
behaviour
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by
parents
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is a crucial thing to build a good personality for themselves.
On the other hand
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, the opponents of
this
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perspective assert that
the
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apply
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teenagers have the right to get freedom in the beginning.
Firstly
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, some
parents
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think that the time for letting them understand
on
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apply
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behaviour
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is not in the adolescent timing. Yet, it could be
a
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the
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right time to educate them when they become an adult. It would lead the
children
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to quickly understand
on
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apply
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what they should learn.
Moreover
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,
this
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kind of
parents
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also
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assumed that no need to strictly teach them about a tough matter, since, they could only think of silly things. Preferring
onto
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apply
show examples
playing time would take much more attention,
for example
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,
conversely
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, getting something boring including
advise
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advice
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could be avoided by them. By means that
a
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apply
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control of
children
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's
behaviour
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could be started after becoming
mature
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a mature
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person. By way of conclusion,
a
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apply
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deep
supervising
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supervision
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and
educating
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education
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from
parents
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are the pivotal elements to
assure
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ensure
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a
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apply
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good
behaviour
Use synonyms
of the adolescent, yet, some people prefer to start it when they become
mature
Add an article
a mature
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person. As I would state
that
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apply
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the
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apply
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learning could begin
in
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at
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the
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an
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early age with the proper steps, thereby they would be familiar
and
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with and
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do
it
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apply
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habitually.
Submitted by ishmameliaz29 on

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task achievement
Expand on relevant specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Providing more concrete illustrations will help clarify your viewpoint and increase persuasiveness.
task achievement
Ensure clarity and comprehension of ideas by simplifying complex or lengthy sentences. Shorter, clear sentences tend to communicate ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to enhance the logical flow of ideas. Connective words and phrases will make it easier for the reader to follow the progression of your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully structured the essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a cohesive structure.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which demonstrates a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position and reinforces the arguments made, demonstrating a clear end to the discussion.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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