IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #source #revenue #countries
These days It is an undeniable fact that tourist spots in every country have become more popular and have so many visitors. All over the world, nations are trying to showcase their respective countries to attract visitors because of the belief that with more tourist, more money will come in. I completely agree that the disadvantages of the international movement should be handled prudently to lessen its adverse effects on a nation. In
this
 essay I will support my opinion on the drawbacks of vacation industry by relevant examples
Firstly
, travel activities can threaten the traditional culture of a kingdom. Local people tend to imitate the cultures that are brought by the tourists from their home countries. Based on a cultural research conducted in Indonesia
last
 year, local people stated that their traditional cultures are not suitable to the modern era, whereas the cultures brought by tourists to their state are more suitable and modern.
For example
, more local people like wearing modern clothes rather than traditional one as well as they follow more modern dances than the traditional one. Another Reason why I agree is leisure industry can cause the bad effect to the environment. Pollution threatens a certain place because of the growing number of people and establishments.
For instance
, garbage disposal may become a problem due to the increase volume of wastes and of people who fail to properly dispose their wastes. Take Bali as an example
besides
 getting awards because of the successful Holiday, business,
this
 city is well-known for the rubbish as well.
Then
, the local people get the effect to their environment,
such
 as land pollution, flood, and air pollution because of the waste. In conclusion, a flourishing travel has its economic advantages for the republic and its citizens. Its ill effects,
however
, can lead to the destruction of the environment that was once a beautiful and profit-generating attraction.
Submitted by chandu5385 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: