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Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more excercise and spend more time with their family and friends whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems.What are the causes o this and what are some solutions

#experts #people #excercise #time #friends #loneliness #health
It is believed that older individuals used to have a healthier lifestyle in the past
while
 now many experience issues regarding their health and social
life
.
This
 trend is caused by the rapid development of mobile phones and it could be solved by inventing activities for senior citizens. The advancement of technology has resulted in fewer visits from friends and family. In the past, when mobile phones were not invented
people
 had no other choice but to visit their older relatives in person. They would often schedule trips to see their parents and friends since that was the easiest and fastest way to communicate with the elderly. Because of that, the seniors had something to look forward to. Nowadays, technology provides an option to use video calls to communicate.
People
 see
this
 as an easy way of contacting their family so they don't visit the elderly relatives often. Recent research concluded that face time is mostly used by citizens who are over 60 years old. The government should organise more public events for elderly
people
. Many of them lack happiness because they rarely have a chance to socialize. By creating book clubs and sporting events that target senior citizens, the government could improve the quality of their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 dramatically.
For instance
, an article about human psychology stated that everyone needs a social
life
 no matter their age, gender or financial status. In conclusion, the quality of
life
 for elderly
people
 is decreasing and it is
due to
 the usage of video calls as the main way of communication. These individual's lives could be improved by creating various events and gatherings focused on their needs.
Submitted by evijavidemane on

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task achievement
Expand on your points with more specific examples and details. For instance, mention particular activities or initiatives that can help elderly people feel more connected and healthy.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using transitional words and phrases. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-stated, providing a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt by identifying specific causes and solutions for the issue.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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