Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more excercise and spend more time with their family and friends whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems.What are the causes o this and what are some solutions

#experts #people #excercise #time #friends #loneliness #health

It is believed that older individuals used to have a healthier lifestyle in the past

while

now many experience issues regarding their health and social

life

This

trend is caused by the rapid development of mobile phones and it could be solved by inventing activities for senior citizens. The advancement of technology has resulted in fewer visits from friends and family. In the past, when mobile phones were not invented

people

had no other choice but to visit their older relatives in person. They would often schedule trips to see their parents and friends since that was the easiest and fastest way to communicate with the elderly. Because of that, the seniors had something to look forward to. Nowadays, technology provides an option to use video calls to communicate.

People

see

this

as an easy way of contacting their family so they don't visit the elderly relatives often. Recent research concluded that face time is mostly used by citizens who are over 60 years old. The government should organise more public events for elderly

people

. Many of them lack happiness because they rarely have a chance to socialize. By creating book clubs and sporting events that target senior citizens, the government could improve the quality of their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

dramatically.

For instance

, an article about human psychology stated that everyone needs a social

life

no matter their age, gender or financial status. In conclusion, the quality of

life

for elderly

people

is decreasing and it is

due to

the usage of video calls as the main way of communication. These individual's lives could be improved by creating various events and gatherings focused on their needs.

Submitted by evijavidemane on Tue Aug 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Expand on your points with more specific examples and details. For instance, mention particular activities or initiatives that can help elderly people feel more connected and healthy.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using transitional words and phrases. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-stated, providing a good framework for the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task prompt by identifying specific causes and solutions for the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
some people believe that if people are not allowed to work after the age of 60, it cause problems. Do you agree or disagree?
The sphere of job would be changed through aging process of life. Thus, it is debated that the elderly should retire after the certain age compulsorily, and others argued that forceful retirement leads to a plethora of harmful problems. I advocate for the latter and in the following paragraph, it will be defended.
7
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
These days, many individuals want to help their children to be good members of society. Some believe parents should teach them, while others feel that school is better. In this essay, both perspectives will be discussed with examples.
8
band
Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged by some people that moral ethics need to be educated by the police, whereas others argue that families should take care of the behavioural education of their children. In my opinion, child development starts at the early stage in families and parents should be responsible for teaching what is good or bad, in addition, educational institutions should collaborate with them during the middle and high school stages.
4
band
advertising has become increasingly popular in different markets. Firms are using various forms of advertising to popularize the novelty of their products to the public for additional profit
Nowadays, advertising has become increasingly popular in different markets. Firms are using various forms of advertising to popularize the novelty of their products to the public for additional profit. I suspect this is a negative development that could hurt the welfare of consumers.
6
band
chools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Others think it is the parent's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Due to the increased prevalence of processed food items among children, health has become one of the gravest global concerns. While some individuals claim that educational institutes should address this problem, others believe that parents should take this responsibility. Nevertheless, I firmly am of the view that it is parent's primary duty to monitor their children's eating habits by actively participating in their daily routines. This essay explores the reasons supporting why a proportion of society renders the issue as the school's responsibility and why the remainder reckons otherwise.

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more excercise and spend more time with their family and friends whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems.What are the causes o this and what are some solutions

Fully explain your ideas

some people believe that if people are not allowed to work after the age of 60, it cause problems. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

advertising has become increasingly popular in different markets. Firms are using various forms of advertising to popularize the novelty of their products to the public for additional profit

chools have the social responsibility to discourage children from eating junk food. Others think it is the parent's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.