IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that zoo are cruel and all zoos should closed. However, some people think zoo can help protect animals Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #zoo #zoos #animals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Numerous people are presuming that zoos are vicious, and they are not feasible to disclose freely to the public.
However
, others opine that zoos are efficacious to be acknowledged as the conservator of animals.
Thus
,
this
 essay will depict both fathoms and my personal opinions concomitantly.
First
 of all, the existence of zoos warrants the quality of sanitation of wild animals.
In other words
, zoos have already conserved plenty of brutes from being arbitrarily hounded.
Additionally
, creatures that are preserved in a
zoo
 are bestowed some distinctive nutrients like vitamins as an adjunct in order to obtain a superior level of health.
Furthermore
, as excursionists are permitted to access the
zoo
, academic institutions could
straight-forwardly
with firmness and conviction; without compromise
straightforwardly
 instruct their pupils exclusively toddler to concretely witness some animals and their particular hallmarks as well.
Nonetheless
, the availability of animals living in the
zoo
 sometimes is being harnessed illicitly.
Further
, several nonchalant parties frequently undertake some exhibitions intending to attain funds for their financial business.
For instance
, some zoos are conducting many performances which compel the beasts to demonstrate some abominable actions,
such
 as rolling in the fire.
Moreover
, some managers of the zoos are often suspected to partake in some illegal trades that enable perpetrators to purchase wild beasts at a more reasonable price. All in all, the presence of zoos is carrying on many merits and repercussions which are contingent on the methodologies taken to superintend the
zoo
.
Nevertheless
, in order to avert the occurrence of exploitation to some creatures, the government should strictly compose a few ordinances that must be effective to prevent some criminal
demeanors
a particular environment or walk of life
domains
demands
daemons
such
 as annihilating or abusing.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: