IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Nowadays, sport is a big bussiness with high earnings for professional sports people and companies involved both financially and other ways. Is this positive or negative for sports

#sport #bussiness #earnings #sports #people #companies
Recently,
sport
 eventually becomes a lucrative business where both athletes and firms related to
sport
Suggestion
the sport
 can reap great benefits.
This
 essay will analyse significant values
this
 phenomenon brings to our society. Sports business offers professional sports people better environment to harness their skills and facilitates the development of talents.
First
 of all, the performance of athletes can be enhanced, which increases their winning rate. In order to accelerate the well-rounded development of athletes and avoid the potential risks, the government and companies have a tendency to allocate financial resources to install advanced facilities serving for practice.
Besides
, those who possess superior sporting skills can receive great sponsorships, which means that they both have more chances to make more contributions to sports areas and gain reputation and companies investing in them can have an influx of money from their athletes’ awards and advertisements. Other than that, turning
sport
 into the promising industry is a rational way to arouse more interest from the public to
sport
Suggestion
the sport
.
Firstly
, it motivates citizens, particularly those who favour the sedentary lifestyle with their eyes glued to technological devices, including smartphones or tablets, to join in sporting activities. The reason is that if they are informed that they can gain attractive financial incentives and social standing by becoming professional sports players, they will have great passion for
sport
, which helps to increase public fitness levels and minimize their screen time.
Moreover
, people’s awareness of
sport
Suggestion
the sport
 is heightened.
This
 is because training programs and educational campaigns carried out companies for the sake of potential factors offer people a solid grounding in advantages of
sport
Suggestion
the sport
. All in all, the sporting industry not only improves athletes’ performance, but
also
 enhances people’s attitudes toward the roles of sporting activities.
Submitted by punz1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: