IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers , others disagree. discuss both views and opinion.

#people #money #gift #teenagers
Firstly
, nowadays teenagers have a different type of choices for gifts
such
 as digital games and electronic gadgets while older people may not have knowledge about it.
Therefore
, teenagers may purchase traditional gifts which may not be liked by them.
Therefore
,
money
 is the best option for presenting to teenagers, so that they can buy their preferred things.
Secondly
, when people give gifts they may not check all the features
such
 as material which
then
 may be useless to
receiver
Suggestion
receive
.
Instead they
Accept comma addition
Instead, they
 can give
money
 as a gift and
receiver
Suggestion
the receiver
 may buy after checking pros and cons of the product.
For instance
, my aunt gifted to me a watch that did not have modern features and I was not happy.
Nevertheless
, gifts are reminders and whenever you look at present it remains you the person who gave it to you.But
money
can not
can not
cannot
 remain because you often forget cash presents.I remember my grandmother whenever I look at my
earings which
Accept comma addition
ears, which
ears which
earrings which
earnings which
 she gifted to me for my birthday. In summary
,
Accept space
,
according to me, even though people give
money
 as a gift to teenagers
instead
 of purchasing them a product which will generate the feeling of closeness and love.
Submitted by abdullohxamidov2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: