IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, students are encouraged to live with their families while studying, while in others, students are expected to live on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Initially
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, in some countries، it is widely believed that
students
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 must stay at their parent’s home
while
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 studying.
In contrast
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, other countries think that they should live by themselves and be responsible for their actions.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives and conclude with a personal stance grounded in evidence. On the one hand, living alone
while
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 studying can be a boon and a self-development program for
students
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.
Firstly
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,
students
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 who live alone often are known for their maturity and responsibility. To be more specific, when living without family you will rely entirely on yourself, with no one to wake you up or to make sure that you are awake.
Also
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,
this
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 contribution will build independence and strong decision-making skills.
For instance
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, you will make all the decisions by yourself without the need to consult anyone. Not to forget that you will be learning many life skills
such
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 as cooking, washing, and cleaning because no one will do it for you.
Finally
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, not only
this
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 will improve your social skills by being forced to interact with more people but it will
also
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 have a profound impact on your
time
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 management, you will have to
study
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while
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 you do your household chores.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 living alone boasts substantial benefits, its drawbacks warrant equal consideration.
To begin
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 with,
students
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 will face many issues that can be prevented by living with family,
such
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 as homesickness and not finding
time
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 to
study
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.
In other words
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, people who
study
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 will have many mental issues like stress because they have many responsibilities to handle.
Also
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, they will get exhausted over
time
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 and their grades will decline
due to
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 not finding enough
time
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 to
study
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. Taking everything into account, it can be concluded that living alone not only has enormous benefits for
students
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 but
also
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 has a profound impact on their personalities and their way of thinking.
However
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, I firmly believe that living with your family is much easier and can save you both
time
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 and effort.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to further illustrate your points, particularly in the drawbacks section.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the main thesis and supports your argument more cohesively.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to improve overall structure.
content
The essay presents a balanced view of the topic, discussing both sides effectively and providing a personal opinion at the end.
language
The writing showcases a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, enhancing the overall quality of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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