Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some people believe that

besides

wage to meet their essential needs, an occupation

also create

Suggestion

also creates

a good relationship with their colleagues. While others think that it is better to widen their social relationships outside the workplace. From my perspective, there are some benefits of both views,

however

, I would suppose developing social

life

with those unrelated to their

work

is better. On the one hand, it is clear that a job

give

Suggestion

gives

them a good opportunity to provide income and social

life

. Wages are considered an essential factor and an incentive for employees to

work

harder because they helps them earn money and improve the standard of living.

Besides

, working environment allows them

meet

Suggestion

to meet

and

work

with many co-workers who have different culture, styles and levels. When working, they can support by sharing experience, skills, difficulties and overcome those together to achieve their mission.

In addition

, there are

also

some solidarity-strengthening activities

such

as bonding,

teambuilding

Suggestion

team building

cetera

to gain a better understanding and to get more close-knit.

On the other hand

, it is undeniable that outside of

work

is an ideal environment to establish friendships. There are two main

reason

Suggestion

reasons

as follows.

Firstly

, making friends with people

work

in different trades broadens their knowledge in various.

For example

, if their friend is

Suggestion

tour guide, they are able to be listened to interesting, helpful experiences, culture and people from different places. As a

results

Suggestion

result

these

denotes a person or thing

this

knowledge may help them not only in their

life

but

also

workplace

Suggestion

the workplace

workplaces

. The

second

is releasing from pressure. It is understandable that competition in

workplace

Suggestion

the workplace

a workplace

workplaces

and the amount of

work

often make stress for employees.

Therefore

, they need friends to share stories, problems that are impossible to talk with colleagues. In fact, social relationships outside usually

base

Suggestion

based

on same hobbies so they feel more comfortable when they are together. To sum up, an occupation gives both income and social

life but

Accept comma addition

life, but

I believed that it is more beneficial to socialize outside of

work

Submitted by thuytrannguyenthanh on Tue Apr 14 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

Some think that governments should support retired people financially while others believe they should take care of themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that universities shold only accept students with the highest marks while others believe that some students with low marks should have an opportunity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that punishment is the best way of teaching children to behave well. Others believe that it is better to reward children for good be haviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some companies prefer people to work in the office, while others facilitate their employees to work from home. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.