IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Influence of human beings on the world 's ecosystem is leaving to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are primary causes of loss of biodiversity ? What solutions can you suggest ?

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The ecosystem is pivotal for
survival
Correct article usage
the survival
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for
Change preposition
of
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 numerous living bodies.
Extinction
Use synonyms
 of various
species
Use synonyms
 and
lacking
Wrong verb form
the lack
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 of biodiversity
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 taken place because of humankind's influence.
This
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 essay will discuss that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 population and industrialisation are some aspects of the present era that cause the disappearance of flora and fauna,
while
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 awareness and ecological development can help to decrease it. With the pace of time population has been increasing every. By
this
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, requirements are
also
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 rising
such
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 as food, commodity etc. Which increases a huge pressure on the living things and their habitats.
Moreover
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, manufacturing
of
Change preposition
apply
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plenty of
sources
Correct your spelling
resources
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 for the
people
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 needed, a lot of land
are to
Verb problem
apply
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be required for the industries, which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 deforestation of forests and
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
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 land.
Due to
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this
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, many
species
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 get
die
Add the particle
to die
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.
For example
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, a recent survey about the world's ecological cycle experienced by mankind all over earth showed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 two major causes of
Use synonyms
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
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 of living habits were high scale in population and industries.
Hence
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, it is important that we
need to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
address these issues
at the earliest
Rephrase
as soon as possible
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. Despite all
this
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, there are various methods to combat with problem of
extinction
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 and strike a balance. These methods include promoting awareness across
people
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 and ecological growth.
For instance
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, authorities should spread the importance of these
species
Use synonyms
 among the
people
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 because in
this
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 way person aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
necessity
Add an article
the necessity
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 of natural
species
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 and protect them.
In addition
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,
Ecofriend
Correct your spelling
Eco-friendly
 development should be preferred most.
In other words
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, lands are occupied which are far from any natural living bodies by me firms, so that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 may not cause pollution
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
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.
Therefore
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, we should keep these things to solve the problem of
extinction
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
ecological
Add an article
the ecological
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 process is indispensable for
species
Use synonyms
 which is facing disturbance by the
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 influence, it leads the danger to numerous
species
Use synonyms
 and
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of biodiversity.
However
Linking Words
, increasing awareness among
people
Use synonyms
 and
ecofriend
Correct your spelling
eco-friend
eco-friendly
eco friend
establishment
Fix the agreement mistake
establishments
show examples
 can help to overcome the world's ecosystem problems.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure should be improved by organizing the essay into proper introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main point and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more developed to effectively introduce and summarize the essay's content.
coherence cohesion
The main points need more detailed support and development. Each idea should be elaborated with relevant examples and explanations.
task achievement
The response addresses the task, but the ideas need to be presented more clearly and coherently. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument and supports the main thesis.
task achievement
The essay includes some relevant ideas, but they need to be organized and presented more comprehensively. Each point should be fully developed and linked to the main argument.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is limited. To improve, include more detailed and relevant examples to support the main points and strengthen the overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ecosystem
  • extinction
  • biodiversity
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • contamination
  • overexploitation
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • non-native
  • safeguard
  • eco-friendly
  • sustainable
  • legislation
  • rehabilitation
  • endangered species
  • conservation
  • environmental impact
  • sustainability
  • biodiversity loss
  • ecological balance
  • sanctuary
  • environmental degradation
  • policy implementation
  • wildlife protection
  • ecotourism
  • biodiversity conservation
  • ecological footprint
  • sustainable development
  • pollinator decline
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