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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table gives information about 5 types of vehicles registered in Australia in 2010, 2012, and 2014.

The table gives information about 5 types of vehicles registered in Australia in 2010, 2012, and 2014.
The table compares different means of transport which were registered in Australia in 2010, 2012 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
vehicles
Use synonyms
 for
passenger
Add an article
the passenger
a passenger
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 is obviously the most popular transport service
whereas
Linking Words
 the number of light
trucks
Use synonyms
 still maintain its lowest level
throughout
Change preposition
over
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 3 years. Apparently,
vehicles
Use synonyms
 for passenger and commercial are top preferences among others.
However
Linking Words
, the ratio of those registered means of transport only accounted for small percentages throughout
3
Correct article usage
the 3
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mentioned years. To be more precise, the figure for passenger
vehicles
Use synonyms
 and commercial
vehicles
Use synonyms
 slightly rose by 1200000 and 400000 units , which only made up for 10.2% and 17.4% during the
3-year-period
Correct your spelling
3-year period
, respectively. Meanwhile, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of motorcycles surged dramatically from 540,000 to 709,000 units, which reached the highest proportion of 30.8% among other types. In
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
the comparison
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 of the two types of
trucks
Use synonyms
, it is clearly seen that the volume of heavy
trucks
Use synonyms
 is the highest
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but only represented 8.3% from 2010 to 2014. Light
trucks
Use synonyms
 were seen to have a sharp increase in the percentage of 23.5% after 3 years.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words vehicles, trucks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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