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Band 6.5

There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

#person #company #believe #money #reason
The reasons why a person stays with one
company
 for a long time may be variable. Money is believed to be the main reason;
however
, I disagree with
this
 because the working
environment
 and effective
teamwork
 are more important.
Initially
, working
environment
 plays an essential role in affecting an employee’s motivation to work. The fact is that everyone spends one-
third
 of a day at the workplace, so their expectation is to have a comfortable and encouraging
environment
 to perform the tasks effectively.
As a result
, if the
company
 has a toxic culture or the managers are
bossy who
Accept comma addition
bossy, who
 ignore employees’ rights all the time, most of the staff will find a way to quit even though the salary is high. One survey in Canada revealed that in 2017, 25% of workers left their jobs because the bosses asked them to work in an unsafe
environment
.
Additionally
, another crucial factor for an employee’s loyalty with
this
company
 is effective
teamwork
.
This
 is because
at
Suggestion
in
 the workplace, employees need to communicate and collaborate with each other, which requires
high
Suggestion
higher
 connection among them.
Consequently
, the better the
teamwork
 is, the more responsible an employee feels about his performance as well as the more engaged he is with
this
 organization.
For example
, the report of Google showed that most of the employees stay with the
company
 for a long time because they treasure
teamwork
 in which they can learn from others and develop themselves. In conclusion, I personally believe most of the employees will take the organization’s working
environment
 and effective
teamwork
instead
 of salary into consideration to ascertain their loyalty with the
company
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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