in many countries today, if people want to find works, they have to move away from their friends and families. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In many lands nowadays, people have to go far from their

parents

Use synonyms

and relationships to have better job opportunities. I think the benefits of

this

Linking Words

development totally outweigh the disadvantages. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will prove my point of view.

Firstly

Linking Words

, we can develop skills. By living alone, we will be more independent.

Therefore

Linking Words

, time managing skills and

Use synonyms

money managing

Add a hyphen

money-managing

show examples

skills will

be grown

Wrong verb form

grow

show examples

. We have to divide enough time for daily work, relaxing and working by ourselves. We

also

Linking Words

know about using

money

Use synonyms

wisely. Living far away from

home

Use synonyms

means we need to be independent in finance. For some people, they move far from

home

Use synonyms

to get a job which has a higher salary. They must earn

money

Use synonyms

to keep living themselves and support their family.

Hence

Linking Words

, we should learn to spend

money

Use synonyms

on our daily lives and

helping

Wrong verb form

help

show examples

Use synonyms

parents

Correct pronoun usage

our parents

show examples

live.

In addition

Linking Words

, we can develop social experiences. We come to new friends so we get familiar with new friends, colleagues and neighbors. We will solve all things

such

Linking Words

as homesickness, illness or conflict at work without our parent's advice. By coping with challenges, we will gain new experiences.

Secondly

Linking Words

, working at far distances helps us know family values. sometimes, we neglect our family daily when we live with our family together. Our

parents

Use synonyms

always take care of us from meals to even our careers.

For example

Linking Words

, when we are sick, our

parents

Use synonyms

will promptly be there to take care of us.

However

Linking Words

, living far from

home

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

means our

parents

Use synonyms

caring can not be as prompt as it used to be.

therefore

Linking Words

, we have to face challenges

lonely

Correct your spelling

alone

show examples

. Only when getting into trouble, we will understand the family importance. In conclusion, moving far away from

home

Use synonyms

to find works bring us lots of advantages. We will become mature people with independence.

Moreover

Linking Words

, we can know the family values to appreciate

huyentrang712Thu Feb 29 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to provide clear examples to support your points. Adding specific instances or data can strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

task achievement

To enhance task response, try expanding your discussion by considering opposing viewpoints or potential disadvantages more thoroughly. This broadened perspective can enrich your essay's depth and complexity.

coherence and cohesion

For better coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Using a variety of linking words can help in connecting ideas more smoothly.

coherence and cohesion

Remember to proofread your essay for any grammatical errors or typos. Polishing your grammar and vocabulary usage can significantly improve the overall quality of your writing.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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in many countries today, if people want to find works, they have to move away from their friends and families. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people are making new friends by using socializing network website and Internet chat rooms. Some people say that this is a good thing. Other people say that people should make new friends by face-to-face chat. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport and music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young, while others think it is better for them to attend kindergarden. To what extend do you agree or disagree?