in many countries today, if people want to find works, they have to move away from their friends and families. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In many lands nowadays, people have to go far from their
parents
and relationships to have better job opportunities. I think the benefits of Use synonyms
this
development totally outweigh the disadvantages. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will prove my point of view.
Linking Words
Firstly
, we can develop skills. By living alone, we will be more independent. Linking Words
Therefore
, time managing skills and Linking Words
Use synonyms
money managing
skills will Add a hyphen
money-managing
be grown
. We have to divide enough time for daily work, relaxing and working by ourselves. We Wrong verb form
grow
also
know about using Linking Words
money
wisely. Living far away from Use synonyms
home
means we need to be independent in finance. For some people, they move far from Use synonyms
home
to get a job which has a higher salary. They must earn Use synonyms
money
to keep living themselves and support their family. Use synonyms
Hence
, we should learn to spend Linking Words
money
on our daily lives and Use synonyms
helping
Wrong verb form
help
Use synonyms
parents
live. Correct pronoun usage
our parents
In addition
, we can develop social experiences. We come to new friends so we get familiar with new friends, colleagues and neighbors. We will solve all things Linking Words
such
as homesickness, illness or conflict at work without our parent's advice. By coping with challenges, we will gain new experiences.
Linking Words
Secondly
, working at far distances helps us know family values. sometimes, we neglect our family daily when we live with our family together. Our Linking Words
parents
always take care of us from meals to even our careers. Use synonyms
For example
, when we are sick, our Linking Words
parents
will promptly be there to take care of us. Use synonyms
However
, living far from Linking Words
home
Use synonyms
,
means our Remove the comma
apply
parents
caring can not be as prompt as it used to be. Use synonyms
therefore
, we have to face challenges Linking Words
lonely
. Only when getting into trouble, we will understand the family importance.
In conclusion, moving far away from Correct your spelling
alone
home
to find works bring us lots of advantages. We will become mature people with independence. Use synonyms
Moreover
, we can know the family values to appreciateLinking Words
Submitted by huyentrang712 on
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task achievement
Make sure to provide clear examples to support your points. Adding specific instances or data can strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
To enhance task response, try expanding your discussion by considering opposing viewpoints or potential disadvantages more thoroughly. This broadened perspective can enrich your essay's depth and complexity.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Using a variety of linking words can help in connecting ideas more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Remember to proofread your essay for any grammatical errors or typos. Polishing your grammar and vocabulary usage can significantly improve the overall quality of your writing.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...