IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Violence in the media promotes violence in the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#violence #media #society
One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is the colossal upsurge in the
violence
 in the media promotes
violence
 in our
society
. There is a widespread worry that
this
 will only lead to a myriad of concerns in the
society
. In my opinion,
media
Suggestion
the media
 has more negative impacts than positives in the
society
. On the one hand, critics may point out that one of the most significant benefits of
society
 is to get information and news at the right time through
media
Suggestion
the media
.
For example
, people are distancing themselves from newspapers due to depending on social media for news, unlike in the past now have more
strengthens
Suggestion
strengthened
 bonds with your loved ones. Distance is not a barrier anymore because of social media as you can easily communicate with your friends and relatives overseas.
On the other hand
, there are a number of arguments in
favor
promote over another
favour
 of my stance. One of the most preponderant ones is that
media
Suggestion
the media
 does contribute to
violence
 in our
society
 by examining
music
, video games and web Sites which has some negative effects for the community in various ways.
Firstly
,
violence
 which influences
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 in our
society
 is
music
.
This
 sort of media
is
Suggestion
are
 a concern
to
Suggestion
for
 parents who are interested in the development and growth of their children because of the negative and destructive themes of some kinds of
music
. According to, "Times
magazine December
Accept comma addition
magazine, December
 2017 edition", the proportion of
violence
 influences due to
music
 has increased from 15 percent to 30 percent today.
Secondly
, a large portion of
violence
 which influences
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 in our
society
 is video games. Our youth who
play
Suggestion
plays
 a lot of violent video games have an aggressive
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
. They
acting
Suggestion
act
are acting
 out criminal fantasies and earning points for attacking and killing innocent people in games.
Lastly
, in my opinion, the government of Australia is taking a great initiative in educating its
society
 on the impact of media
violence
. Someone, is being encouraged to spend a less portion of their time in social and online gaming websites in order to compensate for media
violence
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: