IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows demographical data corresponding to the quantity of immigrants to the United States between the years 1992 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph shows demographical data corresponding to the quantity of immigrants to the United States between the years 1992 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#data #quantity #immigrants #states #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given line chart depicts the changes in demographic quantities of
immigrants
Use synonyms
 over 16 years in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States. As can be seen in the graph
initially
Linking Words
, 30,000 people immigrated in the
assylums
Correct your spelling
asylums
, 27,000 having
work
Use synonyms
perimts
Correct your spelling
permits
 and the lowest counts for spouses, a little less than 20,000 in '90. A peak rise to 60,000 was evident in '92 for asylums but at the same
Use synonyms
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 no significant change could be noticed in
immiggrants
Correct your spelling
immigrants
 having
work
Use synonyms
 permits or spouse
visa
Fix the agreement mistake
visas
show examples
. With a major decline, the number
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 asylum
immigrants
Use synonyms
 again came in the range slightly higher than 40,000 and
Correct your spelling
remained
remainned
Correct your spelling
remained
 constant till ;93,
Correct your spelling
immigrants
immmigrants
Correct your spelling
immigrants
 having spouse
visa
Fix the agreement mistake
visas
show examples
 touched the line of 20,000 and
coincided
Wrong verb form
coinciding
show examples
 with
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 same of
work
Use synonyms
 permits
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a significant rise can be seen after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
'99
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
immigrants
Correct quantifier usage
number of immigrants
show examples
 for asylum reached
all
Add a hyphen
all-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 high of 160000, 120000 as in the case of
work
Use synonyms
 permits but spouses remained low to a level of 25000 in '02. the number of
work
Use synonyms
 permit
immigrants
Use synonyms
 kept inclining and reached 140000 at the same
time
Use synonyms
 count in asylums drastically dropped to 22000 and spouses attained
peak
Add an article
the peak
a peak
show examples
 of 42000 in '08 Concluding, the dominant position had been
took
Change the verb form
taking
taken
show examples
 by
immigrants
Use synonyms
 for
assylum
Correct your spelling
asylum
 but
large scale
Add a hyphen
large-scale
show examples
 fluctuations can be seen. spouse
immigrants
Use synonyms
 are recorded as
all
Add a hyphen
all-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 low but are rising effective rise can be seen in
work
Use synonyms
 permits

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Vocabulary: Replace the words immigrants, work, time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immigration
  • demographic data
  • fluctuations
  • peak periods
  • timeframe
  • comparative analysis
  • growth
  • decline
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decrease
  • notable changes
  • surge
  • decline
  • migration patterns
  • quantitative data
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