IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal.some people,however,think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
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It is often argued by many political parties that their primary agenda is to bring
economy
Suggestion
the economy
 to the
country
Use synonyms
.
However
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,
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,
on the other
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hand few
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hand, few
 of them consider
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 kind of progress of equal importance as well.I personally believe that
although
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 various
kind
Suggestion
kinds
 of
development
Use synonyms
 is necessary
to
Suggestion
for
 the
country
Use synonyms
,
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,
economical
Suggestion
the economy
economy
 remains ahead of all.
Thus
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,
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,
this
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 essay will discuss both the views supporting the former.
To begin
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 with
,
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,
government
Use synonyms
 should be financially strong in order to function smoothly.The fundamental rights of every human being can only be fulfilled if their regulating
government
Use synonyms
 has enough revenue for their citizens.
Additionally
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,
Accept space
,
even to carry out
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 kind of
development
Use synonyms
 in nation
,
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,
political parties must own the good amount of budget so that they could allocate it equally wherever required.
Moreover
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,
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,
economical crisis subjects a
country
Use synonyms
 in a radar of being collapsed
,
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,
for an instance Somalia is critically poor in terms of
economy
Suggestion
the economy
 and
therefore
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,
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,
mortality rate has increased owing to the food scarcity.
However
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,
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,
other aspects of
development
Use synonyms
 should not be left unseen as they
also
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 denotes
Use synonyms
country
Suggestion
the country
 towards progression.Socio-cultural
development
Use synonyms
 being the one where
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 should put their eyes on
besides
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economy
Suggestion
the economy
.With
world
Suggestion
the world
 being more and more modernized
,
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,
people are failing to appreciate their cultures and traditions in the verge of being sophisticated and rich.For an example
,
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,
children these days
does not prefer
Suggestion
do not prefer
 to participate in festivals and holy rituals with similar enthusiasm as that of adults in a family.In-order to overcome that
,
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,
government
Use synonyms
 should focus on preserving historic buildings
,
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,
build new temples where children can visit as a part of
excursions
Suggestion
the excursions
 and get to know the value of
such
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 monuments and heritage.
Nevertheless
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,
Accept space
,
development
Use synonyms
such
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 as cultural doesn't
outweighs
Suggestion
outweigh
 economical progress.If
Use synonyms
country
Suggestion
a country
 becomes rich
,
Accept space
,
such
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 minor
development
Use synonyms
 could be taken care of with little effort from both individual and
government
Use synonyms
 collectively.
Submitted by shreyaupadhaya5 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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