IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the charts below show information about honey-bee colonies and honey production in the US

the charts below show information about honey-bee colonies and honey production in the US
#show #information #honey-bee #colonies #honey #production
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The charts give information about the total
number
 of
honey
-bee
colonies
 and
honey
production
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 between 1970 and 2010. In 1970, there were 4 million
honey
-bee
colonies
 and approximately 130,000 tonnes
honey
Change preposition
of honey
show examples
production
.
However
, the
number
 of
honey
-bee
colonies
 rose
almost
Change preposition
to almost
show examples
 4.5 million in 1980
whereas
honey
production
 fell to 110,000 in 1980. From 1980
honey
-bee
colonies
 decreased after every 10 years till 2010,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
,addition
show examples
 the
number
 of
colonies
 decline to 3.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 1990 and again fell
almost
Change preposition
to almost
show examples
 2.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2000.
Furthermore
, the final result was roughly 1.5 million
honey
-bee
colonies
 in 2010.
On the other hand
,
honey
production
 showed variation at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 certain time. The amount of
honey
production
 fell to 110,000 tonnes in 1980 and
then
 went up to 120,000 tonnes in 1980.
Overall
, it is obvious that both
honey
-bee
colonies
 and
honey
production
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped in the period given, but the
number
 of
honey
-bee
colonies
 did not affect to amount of
honey
production
.
Submitted by g_nebisoy on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, honey-bee, colonies, honey, production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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