IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the charts below show information about honey-bee colonies and honey production in the US

the charts below show information about honey-bee colonies and honey production in the US
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The charts give information about the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
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honey
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-bee
colonies
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 and
honey
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production
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at
Change preposition
in
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US
Correct article usage
the US
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 between 1970 and 2010. In 1970, there were 4 million
Use synonyms
honey
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-bee
colonies
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 and approximately 130,000 tonnes
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honey
Change preposition
of honey
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production
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
Use synonyms
honey
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-bee
colonies
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 rose
almost
Change preposition
to almost
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 4.5 million in 1980
whereas
Linking Words
honey
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production
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 fell to 110,000 in 1980. From 1980
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honey
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-bee
colonies
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 decreased after every 10 years till 2010,
in
Linking Words
addition
Add the comma(s)
,addition
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 the
number
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 of
colonies
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 decline to 3.5
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 1990 and again fell
almost
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to almost
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 2.5
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the final result was roughly 1.5 million
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honey
Use synonyms
-bee
colonies
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 in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
honey
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production
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 showed variation at
the
Correct article usage
a
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 certain time. The amount of
honey
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production
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 fell to 110,000 tonnes in 1980 and
then
Linking Words
 went up to 120,000 tonnes in 1980.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that both
Use synonyms
honey
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-bee
colonies
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 and
honey
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production
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dropped in the period given, but the
number
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 of
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honey
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-bee
colonies
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 did not affect to amount of
honey
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production
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, honey-bee, colonies, honey, production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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