IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education
Crime today has become one of the most important issues in society. While some believe that putting criminals in jail is the best solution, others think providing them with better
education
 and vocational programs is better.
Although
 I accept that they should receive job training and
education
, I disagree that there is no need to bring criminals to prison. On the one hand, vocational
education
 and training is good methods that can help criminals become better citizens.
Firstly
,
education
 can change the attitude of wrongdoers positively. When educated, criminals will be aware that they should have not broken the law and
also
 feel guilty of their wrongdoings.
Secondly
, because of lacking money, many people commit crimes like theft or robbery so vocational training can give offenders a chance to know more clearly about jobs
such
 as tailor, carpenter so that they can find
such
 jobs and earn a living after being released from jail.
Therefore
,
this
 may lead to the reduction of the rate of crime committing. On the other side, incarcerating criminals is obviously must-have solution for certain crimes to protect the stability of society. Locking up the perpetrators in confined spaces can prevent more life losses. They might get some
education
 and training, but still must be kept away from the community.
Moreover
, some types of criminals like homicide or aggravated assaults are more likely to have to accept capital punishment.
Therefore
, it is no use in trying to educate and train
this
 group. Prison is the best deterrent to their actions. In conclusion, I think both incarceration and
education
 and job training are good ways to deal with lawbreakers, but we should strive to find the suitable punishment for each crime to reduce the future harm and create a better society.
Submitted by lanhuongtran255 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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