Some people think although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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While
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some believe that nations with longer working hours are more economically prosperous, others argue that extended working periods have negative social consequences.
Although
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extended office hours can increase profitability for companies, they hinder employees' work-life balance and ultimately, lead to a weakened family structure.
To begin
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with, countries with extended office hours tend to have higher Gross Domestic Product (GDP) and economic success. Undoubtedly, employees in these countries work for longer periods which results in higher yield production.
For example
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, Japan and South Korea have notoriously long office schedules.
Due to
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this
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, the employees are required for prolonged periods and
this
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allows business to uplift their local economies which enables nations like these to have a competitive edge over the global market.
While
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operating in service for a prolonged time can help the nation advance in the global race,
however
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, these advancements often come at the expense of individuals' work-life balance.
Although
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workers are able to finish more work, the companies' productivity deteriorates gradually, as the workers are under significant load and stress.
Moreover
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, they are unable to spend time with their loved ones and
this
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then
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leads to social isolation and weakened family structures. In America, both parents are required to earn in order to survive. In these families, children are not that attached to their parents when compared to Asian countries like India.
Due to
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this
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, their children lack moral values and, communication of thoughts without contradictions becomes quite hard and
this
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leads to hostile behaviour amongst them. In conclusion, I strongly agree that
this
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approach brings negative consequences that definitely need to be addressed in order for the country to become economically successful.
Additionally
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, providing optimal working windows allows them to interact with their families.
This
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helps them to lower their stress levels
while
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teaching the future generations moral values that are needed to run the nation.

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task achievement
Your essay generally addresses the prompt well, providing a balanced argument. However, ensure that your position is clearly stated in the introduction to improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The flow of your ideas is mostly logical, but some transitions could be smoother—particularly between points. Consider using more cohesive devices to enhance the connection between ideas.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant but could be expanded. Providing more specific statistics or studies could strengthen your argument about the negative social consequences of long working hours.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which makes your argument easy to follow.
task achievement
The examples chosen reflect real-world scenarios that make your argument relatable and thought-provoking.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic success
  • working hours
  • productivity
  • profitability
  • work-life balance
  • stress
  • health issues
  • GDP
  • burnout
  • mental health disorders
  • workforce
  • job satisfaction
  • employee morale
  • turnover rates
  • social problems
  • crime rates
  • substance abuse
  • coping mechanisms
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