IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Exposure to international media such as films, TV and megazines has significant impact on local culture. What do you think has been the impact? Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#exposure #media #films #tv #megazines #impact #culture
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Gathering
information
Use synonyms
 through global news outfits
such
Linking Words
 as movies, television and print media has
huge effect
Suggestion
a huge effect
 on
traditional way
Suggestion
the traditional way
 of life owing to modification of our total methods of doing things. The demerit of
this
Linking Words
 change is
loss
Suggestion
the loss
 of value in our local language.
However
Linking Words
, the benefits surpass the drawbacks in the sense that
promotion
Suggestion
the promotion
 of human
right
Use synonyms
 and
equality
Use synonyms
 has been established through
this
Linking Words
. The main impact of international
information
Use synonyms
 transmission on
local way
Suggestion
the local way
 of life is
improvement
Suggestion
improved
improving
. Various aspects of local culture have been modified into acceptable standards.
For example
Linking Words
, exposure to media across
continent
Suggestion
the continent
 has changed the mode of dressing in Africa for the better. Fashion has been introduced in African clothing. Approach to societal rules and regulations have developed owing to assimilation via internationally renowned media outfits. The major drawback of global media
such
Linking Words
 as home videos, television and newspapers is loss of worth in our native tongues. Apart from colonialism, international relationship through foreign media has played a significant role in devaluing our natural mother tongues because foreign news outlets communicates with foreign languages
such
Linking Words
 as English and French which makes the young-ones pay less attention to their native languages.
For instance
Linking Words
, many Nigerian
children mainly
Accept comma addition
children, mainly
 communicate in English nowadays. The principal gain of foreign media is promotion of human
right
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 and
equality
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. The
information
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 gotten from
news
Suggestion
the news
 outside
continent
Suggestion
the continent
 showcasing the need for every citizen’s
right
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 to be respected regardless of race, gender or age.
This
Linking Words
 has made the society more democratic.
For example
Linking Words
, in Nigeria,
woman
Suggestion
a woman
 now expresses their rights unlike before due to news got from the outside world.
This
Linking Words
 benefit outclasses the demerits of exposure to international media because knowledge of
right
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 and
equality
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 gives
rises
Suggestion
rise
 to freedom.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
south eastern
situated in or oriented toward the southeast
southeastern
 part of Nigeria, Osu (outcast) system has been abolished through
this
Linking Words
. In conclusion, the major impact of
information
Use synonyms
 gathered through foreign news outlets is
modification
Suggestion
modified
modifiable
. The merits outweigh the disadvantages because awareness of human
right
Use synonyms
 and
equality
Use synonyms
 leads to freedom which is the base for democracy.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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