IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The bar chart shows the percentage of total world population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2003, and projections for 2050.

The bar chart shows the percentage of total world population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2003, and projections for 2050.
#bar #percentage #world #population #countries #projections
The bar chart compares
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 global
population
,who live in four various countries namely:
India
,
China
,
Usa
Correct your spelling
USA
 and
Japan
) from 1950 to 2003 including calculation to 2050.
Overall
,It is obviously clear,that
India
 and
China
 have the highest
percentage
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 over the period shown,
while
 the lowest
percentage
 of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
 consisted in
Usa
Correct your spelling
USA
 and
Japan
. In 1950,
China
 consisted a majority
percentage
 of people over 20,which was a peak and going to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2050 the amount of total
population
 decreased to exactly 15,as opposed,was in
India
 in 1950.
By contrast
 with
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 of
China
,from 2002 to 2050
India
 demonstrate an
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in the number of society about 16 and 18 respectively . In terms of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Japan
,at the beginning of the year,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 approximately 7
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of people
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 depicted by
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 compared with
Japan
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was under 5
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
 global
population
.
The exactly
Correct article usage
Exactly
show examples
 5
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 society resided in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 2002 and 2050 years.
By contrast
,
Japan
 accounted for a negligible amount of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 global
population
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast, overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, india, china, usa, japan, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • percentage
  • total world population
  • countries
  • 1950
  • 2003
  • projections
  • 2050
  • comparison
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • stable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: