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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think it is more important to spend time developing their career while others think time with friends and family is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #career #friends
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It is commonly believed by many that people should focus on developing a successful
career
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 as it offers a self satisfaction along with the fulfilment of basic needs.
However
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, others tend to oppose
this
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 idea and consider that
one
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 should spend their entire time with family and friends because at the end they are the
one
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 that has utmost
importance
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. In my opinion, both family and
career
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 have their own equal
importance
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 in an individual’s life.
To begin
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 with, those who opine that people should concentrate more on the development of their
career
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 can easily point out the
importance
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 of a job in a real life.
That is
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 to say, in the modern world, people have to work very hard to earn the basic necessities including food, shelter and clothing and if
one
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 is not able to afford so, he would probably end up destroying his relationships with the family because family members need a
money
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 to satisfy their desires. Certainly, a good job not only brings the happiness to the family, but
also
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 offers an ultimate level of satisfaction to the person itself.
On the other hand
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, there are various reasons why people feel that
one
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 should spend their quality time with friends and family
instead
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 of earning
money
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.
Firstly
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, most relations is very delicate, and they need the love and support of their fellow mates at all the times,
otherwise
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 they would get weak.
For instance
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, according to a research conducted by the University of British Columbia, a vast majority of kids are more likely to involve themselves in the illegal activities including robbery and theft if parents are not watching their activities closely.
Secondly
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, it is highly likely for people to move out to fulfil their dreams and aspirations if they consider that their
career
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 is more important, which means parents will be left alone in the hometowns with no
one
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 to take of them. To conclude, both
money
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 and relations have their own unique
importance
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 in
one
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’s life and
one
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 cannot stay happy without either having
money
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 to satisfy the needs or the family to provide love and affection.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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