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Band 6

Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #malls #fear #effects #society
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Some people fear that there are many adverse effects on youngsters who waste their free
time
 in shopping malls. Personally, I completely agree with
this
 view. For a variety of reasons, it would be wrong to set a habit among young people that they just pay attention to material things. Going to shopping mall takes a considerable amount of
time
 from people’s daily schedule, so they will have not enough
time
 to focus on doing anything else. It is clear that young people are not aware of the amount of
time
 and
money
 wasted. If they are immersed in shopping, there will be a lack of opportunities to attend to soft-skill teaching classes which are necessary to learn more about. Another aspect to consider is that , T
he
Accept space
,
 more expenditure on shopping is, the more
money
 they need. So if they do not have enough cash to afford these material things, They might end up being a criminal like pickpockets, robber or burglar to satisfy their needs.
Moreover
, spending most of
time
 and
money
 on shopping, young people’s social skills
such
 as communication or relationship management might decrease noticeably.
This
 will result in the possibility of becoming a passive and isolated person.
Also
, The world has many miraculous things to see, so We should not waste our
time
, even our
money
 on purchasing unnecessary things. A book or a short travel is more valuable than materialism. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that young people should not spend too much of their free
time
 in shopping malls since It is not the best way to enjoy life. (253 words)

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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