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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT THE BEST WAY TO REDUCE CRIME IS TO GIVE LONGER PRISON SENTENCES. OTHERS, HOWEVER, BELIEVE THERE ARE BETTER ALTERNATIVE WAYS OF REDUCING CRIME. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
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Crime
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 is a serious and growing problem in most societies.
Although
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 many people believe that the best way to tackle/curb
this
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 is to place people in
prison
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 for longer periods, others believe other measures will be more effective. There are benefits of giving offenders longer
prison
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 sentences.
Firstly
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, spending a long time in
prison
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 provides an opportunity for the
prison
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 services to rehabilitate a prisoner.
For example
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, someone who has committed a serious offence
such
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 as assault will need a long time in
prison
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 to be sure they can be re-educated not to re-offend.
In addition
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 to
this
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, longer
prison
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 sentences will act as a deterrent for someone who is thinking of committing a
crime
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.
Moreover
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 Many jails provides vocational training that
help
Suggestion
helps
 them to get jobs when the comes out from their jail period.
However
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, some people argue that leaving people in
prison
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 for a long time means that they will mix with other criminals and so their character will not improve. One alternative is community service.
This
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 gives an offender the opportunity to give something positive back to society, and so it may improve their character.
Also
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, the government could focus its resources on the causes of
crime
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, which would lead to less
crime
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 in the future. In my opinion, it is important to look at alternative methods. Many countries have lengthy
prison
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 sentences, but
crime
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 has continued to increase throughout the world, so it is clear that
this
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 is not completely effective. That said, long
prison
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 sentences should remain for those who commit serious crimes
such
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 as assault or murder, as justice for the victim and their family should take priority.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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