IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #schools #student #behavior
When it comes to problems caused by student behaviour, many schools have had a hard time to dealing with
this
 problem.
However
, the real causes can be laid on not in
school
 but others.
First
 of all, many students spend most of their time in their
school
 with their friends and teachers.
Thus
, it can be seen as the problem is caused by relationship with someone related to the
school
.
However
, in my opinion, it is more impressive for them to raise mistakenly from their family, especially parents. Among the many problems, action would be found for others who are close to him or her. Making noise or showing offensive action might be made before attending
school
, at a younger age, since they were able to be provided with an education or carefulness from their parents. To more illustrate my opinion, in my thought, there would be some solutions to solve these problems that students used to make in their
school
. The reason why they make problems is in before events in their family members, and it would be some habit for them.
Thus
, schools have to provide them with educational programs
such
 as counselling, and it is required for students not to punish but to give awards if they did good things. It should be more efficient than give punishment about mistaking or making problems. In conclusion, the problems that are caused by students in schools in many countries have to be solved by the program to be able to improve their mind and action and care of their friends, teachers, and others related to them.
Submitted by kwoneunsuk0707 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental guidance
  • discipline
  • moral guidance
  • social media
  • detrimental
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • overcrowded
  • disengagement
  • disruptive behavior
  • behavioral policies
  • code of conduct
  • parental involvement
  • social and emotional learning (SEL)
  • empathy
  • responsible decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: