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Writing Samples /
Band 8

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people
Some people believe that luxury and prosperity are the dominant factors that bring people a meteoric rise to fame nowadays rather than their own talents and success, which leads to the negative effects on youngsters. I totally agree with
this
 viewpoint. For a variety of reasons, wealthy people would not necessarily be the talented or outstanding people.
Firstly
, they may be born in a rich family and they tend to be dependent on the financial support of their parents.
For instance
, in Viet Nam there have been some successful businessmen who may pass their billion dollar businesses to their sons or daughters when their children are still young. Which may lead to the luxury ways of living that their sons or daughters have even their children may not be talented. Thereby, their sons or daughters tend to be famous with richness brought from them.
Secondly
, people may use beauty or commit crimes to have a luxurious life.
For example
, the models or beautiful girls may have sensitive and close relationships with millionaires to have financial support from them. Drug dealers who have not been arrested may have a huge sum of money from illegal activities to have wealth. They may become famous with super cars or super villas without any achievements. The mentioned prosperity and fame seem to have bad effects on young people. For one thing, they may consider being rich at all costs will make them to be celebrities.
For example
, young girls tend to take care of their appearance, have rich boyfriends, prostitute rather than studying or learning at school which may lead to the deterioration of morale. For the other thing, people tend to behave and learn from their celebrities, and when they celebrities behave badly because of the insufficient education and lack of acknowledgment,
this
 may result in social evils in society of youngsters. In conclusion, there have been a great number of ways to become rich and famous, young people should take the talent as well as the ability of celebrities as the
first
 priority to have the right idols.
Submitted by thienbinhdomi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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