In recent years many local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers to do their shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?
After a
while
of chain store and big mall opening, in a few decades, people has tend to choose these places for purchace than local stores
result in breakdowning of small shops.This
issue have some benefites and drawbacks that I will extend and give some solutions.
The reasons why buyers have chosen more to do their shopping from hypermarkets rather than from neighbourhood small grasories are some personally and some logicly. Regarding the logical reasons: first,
they think if a shopping place is spacious, it has more items to present and also
have more varieties of anything, like the Casco have more than 10 types of all elements at least, claimed in their website. Secondly
, giantic sell areas provide attractive designes and make there as a place for shopping and spending time, as the saying goes: kill two birds with one stone, like window shopping of tech-store meanwhile purchacing urgent stuff. Finally
, clients can find everything in a same building, such
as cloths, food's igredients, fruit and the like in a big mall. Therefore
, people are used to go to Centers of shopping than local stores
.
The problems which it makes as negative points are: turning it's surrounding area to traffic conggestion area, next missdestributing income among local stores
and shopping centers and lastly
decrease in selling local production sold in small stores
. Solving this
issue down to governments more than ordinary people. For instance
, declining less tax from small shops, loaning them and destribute some coopen of discants among children in schools to encourage them to buy from these places.
In conclusion, Shopping Centers provied a lot of advantages to buyer and some disadvantages to owners of local shop; however
, this
dammage can be disappear by a little effort of governments.Submitted by aliaghanjd74 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well and provides both positive and negative aspects of the development. However, your arguments could be more clearly structured and comprehensive. Try to elaborate more on each point and provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs could be improved. Use more transitional phrases to ensure your ideas are well-connected and easy to follow.
language
Focus on improving your sentence structure and grammar. There are instances of unclear phrasing and grammatical errors that could be refined for better clarity. Consider revising sentences for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction that outlines the issue and your intention to discuss its positive and negative aspects.
task achievement
You made a good attempt at providing specific reasons why people shop at large shopping centers and the impact on local shops. Including examples like “Casco” adds some specificity to your arguments, which is good.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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