IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable but traditional values & customs have been lost & this is a pity. To what extend do you agree.

#people #work #lives #values #customs #pity
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Nowadays, wo
rld h
Suggestion
the world
as become immensely competitive everyone wants to live life king size with all luxuries in life which they miss to understand that it come with pr
ice.
Suggestion
a price
Therefore
Linking Words
, their greed to own expensive cars, villa, latest hi-tech technology has made the them go far from their traditional values & customs as they have to
work
Use synonyms
 day and late nights to achieve. I see eye to eye, with the central idea for various reasons.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, people have become more materialist & status oriented, they want their kids to study in
expensive a
relatively low in price or charging low prices
inexpensive
nd schools which are fully ai
rconditioned,
Suggestion
air conditioned
take their children to
f
being one more than one
two
oreign trips. The best example of
this
Linking Words
 scenario can be seen in India demand in
such
Linking Words
 types of schools have increased in
la
Linking Words
st few years.
Suggestion
the last few years
Evidently, India as country has been known for traditional values & customs, there was culture of joint family where children when become educated adults use to stay and take care of their parents, but now to achieve the materialist goals and to become successful lot of they have to move to different metropolitan cities or even move to different countries and have become extremely occupied in their
work
Use synonyms
 that they don’t find time to call or connect with their parents and often seen missing wishing them on their anniversaries & Birthdays. Increase in nuclear family culture has lost the importance of love and respect of family. In India today ma
gazine October 2
Accept comma addition
magazine, October
019 is
sue it h
Accept comma addition
issue, it
as been mentioned that nearly 50 percent working population leave their hometown and move to metropolitan cities for
work
Use synonyms
 and achieve their goals.
Secondly
Linking Words
, due to globalization MNC’s in India has given working class ladder to become successful wh
ich
Accept comma addition
which, however
however
Linking Words
, in re
turn have m
Accept comma addition
return, have
ake their job extensively demanding, people need to travel on ho
lidays festivals a
Accept comma addition
holidays, festivals
nd when people are not travelling, they are relentlessly engrossed in their
work
Use synonyms
 due to which they fail to give time to their children to explain the importance of culture and traditions which is actually in return decreasing the value and traditions in their children which becoming distant their cultural roots,
thus
Linking Words
 disobey their parents and become anti social. In the en
d I w
Accept comma addition
end, I
ould like to summarize, there are still fe
w people i
Suggestion
a few people
n society who are famous & successful,
however
Linking Words
 they ar
e still connected t
Suggestion
still connect
o their roots. In my op
inion one s
Accept comma addition
opinion, one
hould have ba
lance life w
Suggestion
a balance life
ith family love, happiness and success.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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