IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic
More and more people spend their holidays in locations which are challenging and adventurous.
This
 essay will focus on both: the advantages and drawbacks for visitors due to
such
 an approach.
To begin
 with the positives, one of the significant benefits of
such
 a difficult situation
to
Suggestion
for
 visitors is that it confirms their courage.
This
 is because those kinds of challenging situations teach how to face difficult situations, result in improved self-belief.
For instance
, many mountain climbers have agreed with
this
 fact that after successfully completing the mountain, they are more positive towards life. In other hand, trekking through the desert, riding camels, laying on top of sand
dunes
Suggestion
Dunes
 and sleeping in tents were amazing experiences, that someone will never forget or get another chance to experience. These are one in a lifetime
opportunities
Suggestion
opportunity
 that most do not get to ever think about doing.
Another
Suggestion
Other
 benefits
for
Suggestion
of
 visiting
such
 a wild places is the
economic
Suggestion
economy
. People can get a job and earn money.
Also
 industry will become bigger and bigger.
On the contrary
, these exotic parts of the world can prove to be dangerous for the tourists. It tends to involve a high peril due to extreme weather conditions which could prove to be life-threatening.
Likewise
, the ecosystem at
such
 places are very fragile, and tourism can lead to not only ecological
imbalance but
Accept comma addition
imbalance, but
also
 cause depletion of natural resources at those places. To illustrate, native animals and plants of
Himalayas
Suggestion
the Himalayas
 were affected due to increasing tourism. To conclude, there are both positive and negative aspects of visiting challenging places. Though people can gain a lot of knowledge and experience, but they need to be careful and take proper precautions related to medications and carrying the basic necessities
such
 as food and water, when planning a trip to exotic places.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: