IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Do you think it is better for governments to spend money developing public transportation or developing new kinds of cars? Why or why not? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, it is undoubtedly that the use of
privative
Use the right word
private
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transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 has been increasing, mainly in the
last
Linking Words
 century. There are many reasons for
this
Linking Words
 problem and lots of possible resolutions for it. In my point of view, the government should invest in the transportation service
instead
Linking Words
 of in
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 technologies.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 increase is justified because buses and subways are uncomfortable, slow and most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 delayed.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the population chose to buy their own vehicle to go to work or anywhere else.
For example
Linking Words
, a friend of mine works 30 minutes from her house
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 if she had used a bus to get there, she would spend one and a half
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if the public transportation is agreeable and affordable, the people will choose it
instead
Linking Words
 of driving by themselves alone in traffic jams every day, spending fuel and resources.
For instance
Linking Words
, my husband would travel by subway since
if
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they were enjoyable.
However
Linking Words
, he prefers to spend more capital on petrol by using his car since even if there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 traffic jams, driving by his own is faster than using a metro.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, to develop
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 automobile
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 which
pollute
Correct subject-verb agreement
pollutes
show examples
 less than the current ones
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will need time
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and a great quantity of money. At
this
Linking Words
 time, it is inaccessible and unlikely. It may be cheaper and easier to improve the actual. As an illustration, it is economical to reformer buses and rain wail than invest in technological studies that would cost years to solve the issue.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the rise of
privative
Use the right word
private
show examples
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 has been improving the pollution
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is necessary that the government tries to solve it. There are many choices to be made.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I believe that to improve and invest in public transportation will resolve it better and more
reasonable
Replace the word
reasonably
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 than investing in new kinds of
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
.

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task response
To improve task response, say your view in the first line. Add a short plan of what you will say. End with a short clear conclusion that repeats your view.
coherence
For coherence, use more link words. Put ideas in order: problem, reason, fix. Keep one idea per paragraph.
content
The essay shows you know the topic and can give an opinion.
examples
There are some real life examples to show your point.
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