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Band 7.5

Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theater and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statement?

#people #time #activities #music #theater #sport
It is often said that the
youth
 of today should frequently engage in cultural activities
such
 as music and theatre rather than sport. Personally, I completely disagree with
view
Suggestion
the view
, as now will be discussed. The
youth
 nowadays should indulge in sports since
this
 could be advantageous to their physical health. Playing sports could allow many young people to stay in shape as well as have more energy at work or school, which may help increase their productivity.
For instance
, since taking up swimming and badminton a year ago, I have felt so stronger and healthier than ever before that I have managed to stay productive and survive working long hours.
In addition
, compared to those with low levels of physical activity, physically active people are more likely to maintain a healthy weight.
Thus
, they would be able to prevent themselves from some life-threatening diseases, namely heart disease, obesity, diabetes, stroke, and high blood pressure.
In addition
 to physical health, sport participation could have other positive benefits for today’s
youth
.
Firstly
, playing sports would give many young people a chance to spend time with their classmates or colleagues.
This
 could be considered an effective way for them to maintain healthy relationships which may help them combat stress, overcome loneliness, build their career, improve their job performance or academic results, and so on.
For instance
, by playing a football game together frequently, office workers could build and develop stronger
work
Suggestion
working
 relationships with their colleagues to make their job more enjoyable and productive.
Secondly
, involvement in sports would permit the
youth
 to build self-discipline and teamwork skills.
This
 may increase the likelihood of their academic and career success. In conclusion, I entirely disagree with the idea of encouraging young people to participate in more cultural activities in lieu of sports.
Submitted by tuanhutech1985 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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