IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individual should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include example from your own experience.

#people #government #care #support #years #fund #retirement
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People have different views about the financial
support
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 to elderly people who have retired. While some people disagree with plan of
government
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support
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 for retirees. In my view, I believe that old people deserve to receive pension. On the one hand, people should save money from their monthly income for their future living expenses and in urgent situations. As it comes to aging, people gradually become weak physically and susceptible to severe illness
such
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 as chronic diseases, diabetes or kidney problems which they need to pay a vast amount of money fro treatments.
Furthermore
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, having their own savings means they will not depend on others or
government
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 and
also
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 enjoy a comfortable
life
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.
On the other hand
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, the
government
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 has a responsibility to
support
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 f
inance
Suggestion
financially
to retirees with the purpose of bringing wellbeing to public.
For instance
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, if people after retire do not obtain the financial assistance, they can risk their lives to rob or commit other associated crimes.
Therefore
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 the social safety will be threatened.
Moreover
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, o
ld
Suggestion
older
people had paid taxes throughout their working
life
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,
thus
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, they entitled to receive pension from s
ocial welfare system
Suggestion
the social welfare system
when reaching retirement age. The
government
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 could
also
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 provide them assistance
such
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 as medical services, allowances and nursing home where they spend quality time with people in the same age group. In conclusion, despite of individuals ought to be responsible for their
life
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 as saving a
mount
Suggestion
an amount
the amount
of money from the working
life
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.
However
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, the
government
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 should
support
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 elderly residents’s finance because they had paid taxes when they still worked for authority.
Submitted by thuyvyy252 on

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