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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people want to own items, such as cars, clothing and other things, that are made by famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #items #cars #brands #development
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These days, there is an increasing tendency among the people to purchase posh and expensive items created by prominent brands. Certainly, it happens due to definite reasons. From my point of view,
this
 alteration negatively affects society by spreading materialism.
Firstly
, I believe that a growing number of advertisements have influenced society’s needs in well-known brands. Clearly, commercials have overloaded our lives, they appear to be everywhere: in the streets, in social media and on the TV.
Therefore
, there is a direct correlation between these two patterns. Consumers feel the constant need of buying anytime they see an appealing advertisement.
Secondly
, by acquiring famous brands people tend to show their wealth and status. Since luxurious items praise to the
skies it's
Accept comma addition
skies, it's
 owner, it is expected that with more things person will receive more respect. In my view, people’s increased need in famous brands has a detrimental impact on society.
This
 tendency affects various age groups and results in misbehaviour, immorality and
naughtiness
Suggestion
the naughtiness
 of individuals. A prime example of
this
 consequence is a “rich kids” phenomenon. Growing in affluent families and having everything they desire, youth became self-
centered
being or placed in the center
centred
. They are bent only on materialism and forget about
inner world importance
Suggestion
the inner world importance
, more precisely intelligence,
mannerliness
 and generality.
Moreover
, luxurious items usually became a ground for conflicts and the person not owning them
may became
Suggestion
may become
 a victim of bullying or discrimination. In conclusion, I want to say, it is correctly considered, that money
can not
can not
cannot
 buy happiness.
Similarly
, a pair of posh sneakers may rather negatively impact society.
Submitted by korolsvet28 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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