IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A friend has invited you to a party but you will not be able to attend. Write to your friend. In your letter •Tell your friend you can’t come •Explain why you are unable to attend •Arrange another time to meet

#friend #party #•tell #can’t #•explain #•arrange #time
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Dear Jessi, I am writing
this
 letter to apologise for not being able to attend your party
this
 weekend and I hope to meet you again
at the end
 of summer around 25th July. Unexpectedly, I need to go back to my hometown for a family reunion because my cousin who lives in the US would like to meet us after 10 years of studying abroad. To be honest,
this
 is
such
 a big event for our family and relatives to see each other after a year of working hard.
Moreover
, my cousin and I spent a lovely childhood in the countryside, and I think
this
 time would be great for us to recall all the sweet memories. Regrettably, the event will be at the same time as your party, which makes me feel so sorry to miss
this
 time. Once again, please accept my sincere apologies for not meeting you at the party. Hopefully, we will have a chance to enjoy our trip on 25th July for our late birthday celebration. Yours sincerely, My My
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task achievement
The letter successfully communicates your inability to attend the party and provides a clear explanation. Nevertheless, for a higher score, ensure that the response directly relates to the prompt by using pertinent language that details the occasion missed.
task achievement
The tone of the letter may slightly inform but maintaining a consistent friendly tone is key. Consider employing phrases that reflect a more personal and informal nature which would be more appropriate in a letter to a friend.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the letter is logical. However, to improve, consider developing transitions between paragraphs to better link your ideas and the overall flow of information.
coherence cohesion
In terms of greeting and closing, using 'Dear' is appropriate, but the closing could be adjusted to something more informal and friendly, such as 'Warm regards' or 'Best wishes,' to reflect the relationship with the friend.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a singular idea for clarity and cohesion. The second paragraph is a bit crowded with details. It might benefit from splitting into two paragraphs - one for explaining the absence and another for reminiscing about childhood memories with the cousin.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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