Some people say that modern innovations bring more problems than benefits .do you agree or disagree

Undoubtedly, scope of modern
technology
has escalated exponentially as compared to the bygone era.
Therefore
, a section of society reckons that
plathora
extreme excess
plethora
of drawbacks
are associated
Suggestion
is associated
with
this
phenomenon. While, others condemn
this
. I agree with the given notion and relevant reasons related to my viewpoint are discussed in the subsequent paragraphs along with an appropriate conclusion.
To begin
with, sophisticated innovations create various issues. The
first
and foremost
is generation gap
Suggestion
is a generation gap
which is proliferating at an alarming rate because most of the family members are working in these days and when they have leisure time
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
they spend that precious time for using an
electronical
Suggestion
electronic
electronics
equipments.
For example
, smart phones
,
Accept space
,
computers
,
Accept space
,
laptops. Apart from that, most of the technological gadgets are used by the modern children for playing online games
.
Accept space
.
Eventually, they don't make proper concentration on their study and sometimes they obtain low marks from final exams which put worst impact on their later life. Taking rest of the demerits into consideration
,
Accept space
,
unemployment rate
Suggestion
the unemployment rate
is rising due to advance
technology
because in the ancient times, most of the products were made by hands.
However
, advanced machines
manufacture
Suggestion
manufactures
the large quantity of products in
limited period
Suggestion
a limited period
of time
.
Accept space
.
To cite an example, according the recent survey it is found that
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
of the factories, companies, multinational organizations and small scale units use electronic machines for making their final products.
Furthermore
, using modern innovations are not propitious for the individuals
upto
Suggestion
up to
some extent because there is no physical activities
.
Accept space
.
As a result
, people become more lethargic and face some ailments
such
as obesity and vision problems. To
recapiculate
summarize briefly
recapitulate
,
although
advance
technology
has some
merits but
Accept comma addition
merits, but
I still believe that various obstacles
occurs
Suggestion
occur
due to sophisticated
technology
which put worst impact on horizon development of people.
Submitted by sukhmann19 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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