Some people say that modern innovations bring more problems than benefits .do you agree or disagree

#people #innovations

Undoubtedly, scope of modern

technology

has escalated exponentially as compared to the bygone era.

Therefore

, a section of society reckons that

plathora

extreme excess

plethora

of drawbacks

are associated

Suggestion

is associated

with

this

phenomenon. While, others condemn

this

. I agree with the given notion and relevant reasons related to my viewpoint are discussed in the subsequent paragraphs along with an appropriate conclusion.

To begin

with, sophisticated innovations create various issues. The

first

and foremost

is generation gap

Suggestion

is a generation gap

which is proliferating at an alarming rate because most of the family members are working in these days and when they have leisure time

then

conjunction used in comparatives

than

they spend that precious time for using an

electronical

Suggestion

electronic

electronics

equipments.

For example

, smart phones

Accept space

computers

Accept space

laptops. Apart from that, most of the technological gadgets are used by the modern children for playing online games

Accept space

Eventually, they don't make proper concentration on their study and sometimes they obtain low marks from final exams which put worst impact on their later life. Taking rest of the demerits into consideration

Accept space

unemployment rate

Suggestion

the unemployment rate

is rising due to advance

technology

because in the ancient times, most of the products were made by hands.

However

, advanced machines

manufacture

Suggestion

manufactures

the large quantity of products in

limited period

Suggestion

a limited period

of time

Accept space

To cite an example, according the recent survey it is found that

majority

Suggestion

the majority

a majority

of the factories, companies, multinational organizations and small scale units use electronic machines for making their final products.

Furthermore

, using modern innovations are not propitious for the individuals

upto

Suggestion

up to

some extent because there is no physical activities

Accept space

As a result

, people become more lethargic and face some ailments

such

as obesity and vision problems. To

recapiculate

summarize briefly

recapitulate

although

advance

technology

has some

merits but

Accept comma addition

merits, but

I still believe that various obstacles

occurs

Suggestion

occur

due to sophisticated

technology

which put worst impact on horizon development of people.

Submitted by sukhmann19 on Mon Apr 27 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that modern innovations bring more problems than benefits .do you agree or disagree

Include an introduction and conclusion

Virtual reality be used as a tool for therapeutic interventions and mental health treatments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some claim newspapers are the best means to get the most recent information because they have more influence than other forms of media.to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Solar energy is becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy in many countries around the world. Why is this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of solar energy?

too much emphasis is placed on education. more government money should be spent on providing free-time activities.To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, private cars are now banned from certain city centers. What are advantages of such system and do you think this is something that most cities should adopt.