IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Success is often measured by wealth and other material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person
It is often considered that wealth and materialistic things a
person
 possesses show the measure of success.
However
, in my opinion, there are other important aspects as well. A perfect blend of supportive family, sound health and knowledge is what makes a
person
 successful.
To begin
 with, mental health is most important, a
person
 under distress and tension is not able to enjoy life to the fullest and
thus
, a rich depressed
person
 cannot be considered as an inspiration.
For example
, one of the billionaire donated all his wealth for mankind and proclaimed him as a monk, and
further
 he spread the message of importance mental stability.
Moreover
, a peaceful state of mind signifies a happy life and can be termed as achievement.
Secondly
, success cannot be symbolised as it varies from
person
 to
person
, though, rich and affluent people are thought of to be the most successful persons,.
However
, they may not have the same feeling about themselves.
For example
, a wealthy businessman, earning revenue of $2000 million, is perceived as a successful entrepreneur by many, whereas he still has not achieved his predetermined goals and
thus
, is not satisfied by his achievement.
Moreover
, different people set their own goals, no matter how big or small, according to their needs and desires; and meeting those targets with their sheer hard work and dedication is an accomplishment for them.
Thus
, a feeling of contentment is the true measure of victory. To conclude, success has a different meaning for different individual. While some relate being rich to being successful; I think a sense of accomplishment through contentment is the real measure of achievement.
Submitted by shishir.karan123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: