IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Consumers are faced with increasing number pf advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

#consumers #pf #advertisements #companies #measures
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Recently, we have experienced the proliferation of advertisements from companies in the fierce competition in the commercial market.
This
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 essay will outline adverse effects of
this
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 phenomenon on consumers and suggest some methods to mitigate them. There are some drawbacks customers have to be faced with when they are bombarded with a huge number of advertisements. The
first
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 disadvantage is that they are lured into purchasing necessary products.
Consequently
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, if people make impulsive purchases, they may not only be in debt but
also
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 be prone to diseases
such
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 as cardiovascular disease or respiratory problems caused by those goods when they are discharged as trash. Other than that, unhealthy lifestyle, particularly the fast food culture in the modern society, can be attributed to the boom in advertisements.
For example
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, advertisements of junk food that contains the high level of fat and sugar can be considered as a culprit behind excessive consumption of
this
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 kind of food, which causes the surge in the rate of obesity. People can implement some appropriate solutions for the sake of the protection from the impacts of advertisements.
First
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 of all, training programs which equip citizens with the necessary knowledge and skills to manage their personal finance and deter them from overbuying play an essential role.
That is
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 the reason why the government has to allocate their financial resources to run them.
Moreover
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, the harsh law is more powerful than any tools;
therefore
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, the authorities should impose stringent punishments on advertisements whose contents can deteriorate public health. All in all, the deterioration of public physical well-being and financial burdens may result from the situation in which advertisements gain increasing popularity. To tackle it, education and severe regulations are rational approaches.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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