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Writing Samples /
Band 8

Many offenders commit more crime after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crime #first #punishment #measures
Although
, after completing their
first
 jail time, many criminals often commit more
crime
. One of the prominent reasons for
this
 is unemployment and poverty.
Firstly
, criminals are not accepted by the society once they serve their
first
 punishment. They do not get most of the jobs due to their past, and
hence
 leading them towards unemployment and poverty. Because of unemployment they are not able to fulfil their or their family responsibilities and get motivated to do
crime
 again.
Secondly
, the offenders are always on the lists of criminals under
police
 radar even when they are
thus
 free, making difficult for them to live a normal life.
For instance
, if a
crime
 happens in their area, they are always taken by the
police
 to check, if they were involved.
Furthermore
, having less
police
 on the street
also
 contributes to opportunistic crimes. Despite, these problems of
first
 time offenders returning towards
crime
, the Government can take some important incentives
such
 as skills training and rehabilitation programmes. These programmes can introduce many skills
such
 as, learning computers, coding and cooking classes and many more which can help these criminals to earn their livelihood once they are free, and will eventually reduce
crime
 rates and increase employment,
thus
, giving them a bright future.
In addition
, to
this
 they should get counselling sessions while serving their punishment and even after leaving jail.
This
 will help them get rid of their past and a start a new life.
Moreover
, more
police
 force should be on the streets to stop crimes on the spot. In conclusion, the Government ought to utilize rehabilitation and skill training programmes in the jail for all criminals along with counselling sessions to make sure they will not return to
crime
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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