IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is often said that we should work to live, not live to work. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

#work #points
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It is an undeniable fact that human should have to do
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 for their relevant lifestyles.
However
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,there is a different statement in between
work
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 to live or live to
work
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 . In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views in the ensuing paragraphs
along with
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 a logical conclusion. Ostensibly, the primary reason behind the notion is that living to
work
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 is imperative for earning money and financial stability.To illustrate, people could survive better if they are willing to do jobs in their
lives
Use synonyms
 which intend them to maintain their personal needs.
Moreover
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, living for
work
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also
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 reflects folks' freedoms and desires.To cite an example, if they believe that earnings mean spending their precious
time
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 on doing
work
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 which assists them to secure finances
as a result
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 they are able to live their
lives
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according to
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 their own perspectives.
On the other hand
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,
work
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 to live is
also
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 considered a crucial part of human well-being.
However
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, if society totally relied on
work
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 and did not have
time
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 to spend on other things
then
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 it would create an imbalance
nature
Change preposition
in nature
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 between their personal and professional life.To cite an example, people who decide to
work
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 more in their
lives
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 have no
time
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 to look after their family and loved ones which means they are staying away from them the whole day which leads to relationship problems.
Therefore
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, there will be a break for jobs to enjoy their livelihood. In conclusion,
although
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 working hard is pivotal for people to achieve their goals only achievements are not compulsory in life folks should concentrate on their personal
lives
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 like they have to save their
time
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 for themselves to enjoy their
lives
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.
Submitted by kaurbhagwant95 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will help to make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that your paragraphs are well-linked and that there is a logical progression from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of words and phrases to make your writing more engaging and varied.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints of the topic, which shows a balanced approach to the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • financial stability
  • personal development
  • career advancement
  • fulfillment
  • leisure
  • self-care
  • burnout
  • stress
  • setting boundaries
  • professional success
  • personal satisfaction
  • harmonious balance
  • purpose and structure
What to do next:
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